Author: Music
and Lyrics by Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx, Book by Jeff Whitty
Number of pages: 154
What I’m watching: I’m going to take a break from posting everything I’m
watching/playing.
What I’m playing: If I want to
write about something, I’ll save it for my recap.
Well,
after that steaming pile of John Guano, I needed to pick something I knew would
be safe. I have the libretto for Avenue Q,
a Broadway Musical from 2003, known by many as an adult version of Sesame
Street.1 In 2004, I was lucky enough to visit New York City with my
high school theater group. Sadly, as circumstances would have it, I didn’t join
them as they saw Avenue Q on
Broadway. But, I heard great reviews from my friends, and one friend even
bought me some sweet Avenue Q merch,
including a deleted song from the show. So, I’ve known the soundtrack for over
a decade and have heard hints about the plot, but now it’s finally time to
connect all the dots and read what Avenue
Q’s all about.
I
get a good feeling right away with the book. I read that “Avenue Q won three
2004 Tony Awards: Best Musical, Best Score (Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx), and
Best Book (Jeff Whitty)” (viii). I’m reading not only an award-winning musical,
not only a triple award-winning musical, but a triple award-winning musical in
the awards that actually matter with reading the libretto.2 There
shouldn’t be anything to worry about, right?3
Looking
at the cast of characters, I notice that Kate Monster is a kindergarten teacher’s
assistant. I’m already learning something new about Avenue Q. I thought Kate Monster was the teacher because Mrs.
Thistletwat, the actual teacher, doesn’t exist in the soundtrack. Lucy the Slut
is called a “vixen-ish vamp” (ix). As in vampire? Or is that some hip slang I
don’t know? If you don’t know or haven’t guessed, some of the characters are
puppets.
Also, Gary Coleman is a character: “Yes, that Gary Coleman. He lives
on the Avenue, too” (ix). I wonder if there was a production of the show at the
time of Gary Coleman’s death; I wonder how they would’ve handled it.
It’s
going to be strange writing this review because I do know a good amount of the story
since I’m already familiar with all the songs and most of the characters. I
wonder how I’ll react to the play now that I’m older; I first heard all this
when I was in high school, but now I’m a mid-20’s college graduate struggling
with a lot of problems these characters face. Like right off the bat, the first
words of the play:
The
sun is shining, It’s a lovely day,
A
perfect morning for a kid to play,
But
you’ve got lots of bills to pay –
What
can you do? (1)
I know, right? Fuckin’ bills. They
suck.
In
walks Princeton, who just graduated from college, asking/singing “What do you
do with a B.A. in English?” (1). Well, I’m writing a blog that nobody reads.
The
show moves along at a pretty good clip. By the end of the first scene, all the
major characters have established themselves, and the romantic storyline
between Princeton and Kate Monster is already developing. The next scene is Avenue Q’s take on Bert & Ernie, or
Rod & Nicky, respectively. In this version, Rod is gay, but not openly.
Nicky sings him a song to show his support for Rod if he were gay. It’s a great
song, the music’s catchy, and I love the lyrics:
If
you were queer
I’d
still be here
Year
after year
Because
you’re dear
To
me
…
You
can count of me
To
always be
Beside
you every day
To
tell you it’s okay,
You
were just born that way,
And
as they say,
It’s
in your DNA,
You’re
Gay! (17-18)
It’s clever, and I can see how Avenue Q did so well at the Tony’s. I’m
going to go ahead and say that pretty much all the songs are smart and
sing-along-able.
Next
scene is Gary Coleman helping Princeton move into his new apartment. Princeton
wonders what his purpose in life is, when “suddenly, the video screen springs
to life with an animated instructional video” (20). That’s awesome. I wish I
could’ve seen that. Soon, Princeton is singing and “his moving boxes join in”
(21). Damn, I wish I could’ve seen that, too.4
After
the song, everybody goes around saying their own purpose, and Princeton asks
Kate about hers. She wants to open a special school for monsters. They’re
interested in each other, but both end up making comments which the other finds
offensive. Cue the song “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist.” Part of me is reading
Avenue Q and wondering if the
material is at all dated or if the jokes have gone at all stale. I learn how
Christmas Eve, a Japanese therapist and Brian’s fiancé, is scripted to say the
word recyclables: “lecycuraburs” (32). And that’s a little bit racist.
Princeton
reaches a point at which he almost discovers his purpose, but is persuaded by
two teddy bears to blow his money and get wasted. Would he have figured out his
purpose? The world will never know. This
is a scene I knew nothing about, so I’m glad I have the libretto.
Next,
Kate Monster prepares a class lesson on the internet. Trekkie Monster
interrupts her and sings about porn. Again, hahaha, it’s funny, but I also
wonder if the writers didn’t just begin by brainstorming all the offensive and
controversial topics they wanted to insert, for the sake of making their
musical controversial. And, at times the show is so left-wing, it can be a
little annoying. For instance, when Rod is struggling with his homosexuality and
talking to Christmas Eve:
ROD: Well – I have this friend…I think my friend is gay.
ROD: Well – I have this friend…I think my friend is gay.
CHRISTMAS EVE: What wrong with that?
You know, Rod, gay people make major contribution to art and philosophy and
literature for many hundreds of years now.
ROD: But my friend isn’t an artist –
he’s a Republican. And an investment banker.
CHRISTMAS EVE: Ew, well, tell him to
stay in closet then. He good for nothing…I wouldn’t want a friend like that.
(48-49)
That’s a jerk thing to say. And later,
her fiancé does a stand-up routine at a local club and she doesn’t even clap
after his “big finish” (56). I guess I don’t like Christmas Eve.
At
the club, Lucy the Slut sings a song, “has a dance break and dazzles the guys with
her sexiness” (58). Lol. Kate and Princeton are on a date where the bears show
up again and suggest the drinking game, “I bet I can drink faster than you”
(61). Ha! Kate leaves for a moment for more drinks, and Lucy comes over to
flirt with Princeton, offering him a chance with “a real woman” (65). It’s
funny cuz she’s a puppet. Princeton, however, sticks with Kate. Before too
long, they’re drunk and “they begin to mash” (66). Whatever that means. They go
to Kate’s place for drunk sex, while Gary Coleman sings about it. It’s not my
favorite song.
Next
comes “Fantasies Come True,” which might be my favorite song. Princeton and
Kate sing about their feelings for each other, while Rod finds out Nicky is
also secretly gay, and Rod’s feelings for Nicky are returned. At the end,
though, Rod’s part of the song was merely a dream.
Later,
it’s Brian and Christmas Eve’s wedding. Nicky outs Rod to everyone there. Rod
gets upset and kicks Nicky out of the apartment. Princeton and Kate go as
boyfriend/girlfriend; Kate catches the bouquet. “Well, some little girl caught
it, but she wasn’t very strong” (88). Ha! Princeton sees some weird nightmare
and breaks up with Kate because he needs time to focus on finding his purpose.
I never understood that reason to dump someone. Princeton can’t both see Kate
and find his purpose? Dumb. Act I ends with Kate singing “There’s a Fine, Fine
Line.” It’s a downer of a finale.
Act
II begins with Princeton wallowing in self-pity. His friends come and convince
him to hook up with Lucy. Princeton and Lucy run into Kate Monster:
KATE:
Is she a friend of yours?
PRINCETON:
Yeah.
KATE:
Is her name “Purpose”? (103)
Oooh, that's cold, and yet, a burn!
That
night, Lucy dumps Princeton. They happen to be at the foot of the Empire State
Building. Kate happens to make a wish on a penny at the top of the Empire State
Building. She throws the penny, which happens to land on Lucy. She’s rushed off
to puppet hospital, where Princeton and Kate start to patch things up.
Cut
to Rod feeling sad lonely after kicking Nicky out. So far, a lot of Act II’s
plot is new for me, taking place in action and dialogue outside of the
soundtrack. Princeton runs into Nicky, and they both decide to do something
nice for Kate and Rod, respectively. Princeton wants to raise money for Kate’s
monster school. Nicky wants to find a boyfriend for Rod. Trekkie invests $10
million to support the monster school. Nicky finds Ricky, “someone who looks
exactly like Nicky, but gay” (139). I like that. Princeton and Kate are getting
along again, and Nicky moves back in with Rod. Christmas Eve says some other
stuff that solidifies my distaste for her. Lucy wakes up from her coma as a
born-again Christian. Everyone’s feeling good about themselves, except Gary
Coleman. And yet, Princeton still hasn’t found his purpose, and the show ends
with a bittersweet song about how “everything in life is only for now” (148).
At
the end of the book is a short afterward by the writer Jeff Whitty. One of the
jokes in the last song is that George Bush “is only for now” (147). Apparently,
Avenue Q opened right after America’s
invasion of Iraq, so anything anti-Bush “was frowned upon by nearly
everyone…[and the joke] received a deafening response from audiences thirsty
for any hint of irreverence toward that particular leader” (150). But I’ve
always wondered what productions of Avenue
Q have said since Bush has left office. I learned that “Fox News” and “BP”
have been the best replacements. And, my earlier wondering about Gary Coleman’s
death is answered; there was a little bit of alteration to the script. Jeff
Whitty ends his afterward enigmatically stating that he deleted one word from
the script, but gave no hint as to which. I also learned at the end that Avenue Q started as a response to Robert
Lopez and Jeff Marx having a spec script turned down by the Jim Henson Company.
Neat little tidbit.
It’s
a funny show with great songs. Admittedly, knowing all the music beforehand
really helped me enjoy the libretto. It was interesting to see that the lyrics
in the script didn’t always match up perfectly with the soundtrack. I’m glad to
finally know the full story. I like some characters more now, and I like some
characters less. I can fully appreciate the show, and maybe one day, I can see
a production of Avenue Q and I can
more fully fully appreciate it.
Verdict (Is the book staying or going?): Staying, but I guess, in a sense, only
for now...
Notes
1. And for the curious:
Avenue Q: Sesame Street = x: Avenue Q. What is x? Answer = Wondershowzen
3. Now I gotta quick make sure The House of Blue Leaves didn’t win any
awards…Googling…Wikipedia…Oh no…Ohhhhhh!
The House of Blue Leaves: A Black
Comedy! It all makes sense now. It’s still absolute shit, though.
4. Hopefully, that doesn’t become the
dominant comment for this blog. I guess I’ll have to imagine it, a la The
Drowsy Chaperone.
Works
Cited
Whitty, Jeff, Robert Lopez, and Jeff
Marx. Avenue Q: The Musical.
Milwaukee,
WI: Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, 2010. Print.
