21. Avenue Q

Book: Avenue Q: The Musical

Author: Music and Lyrics by Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx, Book by Jeff Whitty

Number of pages: 154

What I’m watching: I’m going to take a break from posting everything I’m watching/playing.

What I’m playing: If I want to write about something, I’ll save it for my recap.

 

 

 

 

            Well, after that steaming pile of John Guano, I needed to pick something I knew would be safe. I have the libretto for Avenue Q, a Broadway Musical from 2003, known by many as an adult version of Sesame Street.¹ In 2004, I was lucky enough to visit New York City with my high school theater group. Sadly, as circumstances would have it, I didn’t join them as they saw Avenue Q on Broadway. But, I heard great reviews from my friends, and one friend even bought me some sweet Avenue Q merch, including a deleted song from the show. So, I’ve known the soundtrack for over a decade and have heard hints about the plot, but now it’s finally time to connect all the dots and read what Avenue Q’s all about.

            I get a good feeling right away with the book. I read that “Avenue Q won three 2004 Tony Awards: Best Musical, Best Score (Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx), and Best Book (Jeff Whitty)” (viii). I’m reading not only an award-winning musical, not only a triple award-winning musical, but a triple award-winning musical in the awards that actually matter with reading the libretto.² There shouldn’t be anything to worry about, right?³

            Looking at the cast of characters, I notice that Kate Monster is a kindergarten teacher’s assistant. I’m already learning something new about Avenue Q. I thought Kate Monster was the teacher because Mrs. Thistletwat, the actual teacher, doesn’t exist in the soundtrack. Lucy the Slut is called a “vixen-ish vamp” (ix). As in vampire? Or is that some hip slang I don’t know? If you don’t know or haven’t guessed, some of the characters are puppets.

Also, Gary Coleman is a character: “Yes, that Gary Coleman. He lives on the Avenue, too” (ix). I wonder if there was a production of the show at the time of Gary Coleman’s death; I wonder how they would’ve handled it.

            It’s going to be strange writing this review because I do know a good amount of the story since I’m already familiar with all the songs and most of the characters. I wonder how I’ll react to the play now that I’m older; I first heard all this when I was in high school, but now I’m a mid-20’s college graduate struggling with a lot of problems these characters face. Like right off the bat, the first words of the play:

            The sun is shining, It’s a lovely day,

            A perfect morning for a kid to play,

            But you’ve got lots of bills to pay –

            What can you do? (1)

I know, right? Fuckin’ bills. They suck.

In walks Princeton, who just graduated from college, asking/singing “What do you do with a B.A. in English?” (1). Well, I’m writing a blog that nobody reads.

All the characters come and complain about how much their lives suck, and it’s funny, and then they do a dance break on page 7. I would’ve liked to have seen a puppet dance break.

            The show moves along at a pretty good clip. By the end of the first scene, all the major characters have established themselves, and the romantic storyline between Princeton and Kate Monster is already developing. The next scene is Avenue Q’s take on Bert & Ernie, or Rod & Nicky, respectively. In this version, Rod is gay, but not openly. Nicky sings him a song to show his support for Rod if he were gay. It’s a great song, the music’s catchy, and I love the lyrics:

            If you were queer

            I’d still be here

            Year after year

            Because you’re dear

            To me

            …

            You can count of me

            To always be

            Beside you every day

            To tell you it’s okay,

            You were just born that way,

            And as they say,

            It’s in your DNA,

            You’re Gay! (17-18)

It’s clever, and I can see how Avenue Q did so well at the Tony’s. I’m going to go ahead and say that pretty much all the songs are smart and sing-along-able.

            Next scene is Gary Coleman helping Princeton move into his new apartment. Princeton wonders what his purpose in life is, when “suddenly, the video screen springs to life with an animated instructional video” (20). That’s awesome. I wish I could’ve seen that. Soon, Princeton is singing and “his moving boxes join in” (21). Damn, I wish I could’ve seen that, too.⁴

After the song, everybody goes around saying their own purpose, and Princeton asks Kate about hers. She wants to open a special school for monsters. They’re interested in each other, but both end up making comments which the other finds offensive. Cue the song “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist.” Part of me is reading Avenue Q and wondering if the material is at all dated or if the jokes have gone at all stale. I learn how Christmas Eve, a Japanese therapist and Brian’s fiancé, is scripted to say the word recyclables: “lecycuraburs” (32). And that’s a little bit racist.

Princeton reaches a point at which he almost discovers his purpose, but is persuaded by two teddy bears to blow his money and get wasted. Would he have figured out his purpose?  The world will never know. This is a scene I knew nothing about, so I’m glad I have the libretto.

Next, Kate Monster prepares a class lesson on the internet. Trekkie Monster interrupts her and sings about porn. Again, hahaha, it’s funny, but I also wonder if the writers didn’t just begin by brainstorming all the offensive and controversial topics they wanted to insert, for the sake of making their musical controversial. And, at times the show is so left-wing, it can be a little annoying. For instance, when Rod is struggling with his homosexuality and talking to Christmas Eve:
                 ROD: Well – I have this friend…I think my friend is gay.

CHRISTMAS EVE: What wrong with that? You know, Rod, gay people make major contribution to art and philosophy and literature for many hundreds of years now.

ROD: But my friend isn’t an artist – he’s a Republican. And an investment banker.

CHRISTMAS EVE: Ew, well, tell him to stay in closet then. He good for nothing…I wouldn’t want a friend like that. (48-49)

That’s a jerk thing to say. And later, her fiancé does a stand-up routine at a local club and she doesn’t even clap after his “big finish” (56). I guess I don’t like Christmas Eve.

            At the club, Lucy the Slut sings a song, “has a dance break and dazzles the guys with her sexiness” (58). Lol. Kate and Princeton are on a date where the bears show up again and suggest the drinking game, “I bet I can drink faster than you” (61). Ha! Kate leaves for a moment for more drinks, and Lucy comes over to flirt with Princeton, offering him a chance with “a real woman” (65). It’s funny cuz she’s a puppet. Princeton, however, sticks with Kate. Before too long, they’re drunk and “they begin to mash” (66). Whatever that means. They go to Kate’s place for drunk sex, while Gary Coleman sings about it. It’s not my favorite song.

            Next comes “Fantasies Come True,” which might be my favorite song. Princeton and Kate sing about their feelings for each other, while Rod finds out Nicky is also secretly gay, and Rod’s feelings for Nicky are returned. At the end, though, Rod’s part of the song was merely a dream.

            Later, it’s Brian and Christmas Eve’s wedding. Nicky outs Rod to everyone there. Rod gets upset and kicks Nicky out of the apartment. Princeton and Kate go as boyfriend/girlfriend; Kate catches the bouquet. “Well, some little girl caught it, but she wasn’t very strong” (88). Ha! Princeton sees some weird nightmare and breaks up with Kate because he needs time to focus on finding his purpose. I never understood that reason to dump someone. Princeton can’t both see Kate and find his purpose? Dumb. Act I ends with Kate singing “There’s a Fine, Fine Line.” It’s a downer of a finale.

            Act II begins with Princeton wallowing in self-pity. His friends come and convince him to hook up with Lucy. Princeton and Lucy run into Kate Monster:

            KATE: Is she a friend of yours?

            PRINCETON: Yeah.

            KATE: Is her name “Purpose”? (103)

Oooh, that's cold, and yet, a burn!

            Later, Christmas Eve convinces Kate to work things out with Princeton as “friends.” Kate writes a note to Princeton to meet her at midnight at the top of the Empire State Building. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what just “friends” do. Kate gives the note to Lucy to give to Princeton. Of course, Lucy throws the note away. Who wouldn’t see that coming?

            That night, Lucy dumps Princeton. They happen to be at the foot of the Empire State Building. Kate happens to make a wish on a penny at the top of the Empire State Building. She throws the penny, which happens to land on Lucy. She’s rushed off to puppet hospital, where Princeton and Kate start to patch things up.

Cut to Rod feeling sad lonely after kicking Nicky out. So far, a lot of Act II’s plot is new for me, taking place in action and dialogue outside of the soundtrack. Princeton runs into Nicky, and they both decide to do something nice for Kate and Rod, respectively. Princeton wants to raise money for Kate’s monster school. Nicky wants to find a boyfriend for Rod. Trekkie invests $10 million to support the monster school. Nicky finds Ricky, “someone who looks exactly like Nicky, but gay” (139). I like that. Princeton and Kate are getting along again, and Nicky moves back in with Rod. Christmas Eve says some other stuff that solidifies my distaste for her. Lucy wakes up from her coma as a born-again Christian. Everyone’s feeling good about themselves, except Gary Coleman. And yet, Princeton still hasn’t found his purpose, and the show ends with a bittersweet song about how “everything in life is only for now” (148).

At the end of the book is a short afterward by the writer Jeff Whitty. One of the jokes in the last song is that George Bush “is only for now” (147). Apparently, Avenue Q opened right after America’s invasion of Iraq, so anything anti-Bush “was frowned upon by nearly everyone…[and the joke] received a deafening response from audiences thirsty for any hint of irreverence toward that particular leader” (150). But I’ve always wondered what productions of Avenue Q have said since Bush has left office. I learned that “Fox News” and “BP” have been the best replacements. And, my earlier wondering about Gary Coleman’s death is answered; there was a little bit of alteration to the script. Jeff Whitty ends his afterward enigmatically stating that he deleted one word from the script, but gave no hint as to which. I also learned at the end that Avenue Q started as a response to Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx having a spec script turned down by the Jim Henson Company. Neat little tidbit.

It’s a funny show with great songs. Admittedly, knowing all the music beforehand really helped me enjoy the libretto. It was interesting to see that the lyrics in the script didn’t always match up perfectly with the soundtrack. I’m glad to finally know the full story. I like some characters more now, and I like some characters less. I can fully appreciate the show, and maybe one day, I can see a production of Avenue Q and I can more fully fully appreciate it.

 

Verdict (Is the book staying or going?): Staying, but I guess, in a sense, only for now...

 

Notes

1. And for the curious:

Avenue Q: Sesame Street = x: Avenue Q. What is x? Answer = Wondershowzen

2. Great costumes, set design, or directing won’t help me enjoy the script.

3. Now I gotta quick make sure The House of Blue Leaves didn’t win any awards…Googling…Wikipedia…Oh no…Ohhhhhh! The House of Blue Leaves: A Black Comedy! It all makes sense now. It’s still absolute shit, though.

4. Hopefully, that doesn’t become the dominant comment for this blog. I guess I’ll have to imagine it, a la The Drowsy Chaperone.

 

Works Cited

Whitty, Jeff, Robert Lopez, and Jeff Marx. Avenue Q: The Musical.

Milwaukee, WI: Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, 2010. Print.